here today

 

annual review

My annual review at the insurance agency was last week. I didn't prepare for it this time - possibly because I like to think that I don't really work here. ****by the way, I'm having a hard time focussing on the story about my raise (!!) due to a new brochure on my desk with a group of actors posing as doctors. Only one of the doctors looks like he's got his hand somewhere... unexpected. It's wildly distracting.****

ahem. so, yeah. My HR person & I laughed our way through my review and then she told me that I get a raise and that they think I'm great and asked me about my future goals. And I did not say that my future goals include making a feature film using my bonus money and a Home Equity Line of Credit. No sir. I said that I am interested in getting my Series 7 license and that I'd like to eventually take over the Securities side of our financial planning department. I really said that. And I think it's my Gemini rising that puts me in two places at once - two very different destinies... 1. at this desk, making lots of money with at least two assistants who fill out the nasty forms and do the nasty filing and answer the nasty nasty phone only to tell everyone that I'm not available. Or 2. working on my next film, aiming for Sundance, or Moondance or even the Austin Film Festival... reviews of my first film tacked to the wall of my office, Lucy at my feet ready for a walk. Maybe I can work the smell of baking bread in there?

I've worked out most of the outline for Peace Dog. There are no cops, no guns and no wigs. Feels good to be back in the groove of the early mornings and tea and pre-sunrise stillness. Feels good to be heading into the unknown again, characters interrupting me at work, waking up in the middle of the night with an idea that slips away if I don't write it down - eyes half shut, running out into the kitchen for a pen (where do all the pens go?) and putting my cold feet on Ben's back when I return.

It feels good but I also loved the past week of sleeping in, dinner party with friends, sex like honeymooners, playing with Lucy - a week off from my drive to write, write, write. I got a normal person's life for a bit and oh, it is nice.

But then one of my characters taps me on the shoulder to tell me she sees herself as a technophobe and I pull out my notepad and write it down. Because that's more interesting than anything else I've done today.

Posted by: 120pages at 12:22 | link | comments (1) |