here today

 

jennifer

jennifer has bottles on her shelves with chinese characters on them and dark liquid.  jennifer said we would just try the needles and that they are very small and that it was O.K. if I couldn't handle it there are other ways she said calmly because everything she does everything she says is calm.  If I were not with Ben and I am with Ben even though he is In The Dog House right now about grad school and I'm really looking foward to the weekend alone while he goes rafting with the boys.  If I weren't with Ben I would certainly try to take Jennifer home with me. 

We did try the needles.  Jennifer and I tried the needles only four of them but it turns out that was Four Too Many. 

I am not taking pills anymore for my migraines.  I will not do it and so two weeks ago that meant that I couldn't go out to Ben's show at Jimmy Mak's where he played the tunes he wrote that sound like something we both heard at church growing up.  Ben's granddad not grandfather - no, this one was a granddad - he was a preacher and that music has seeped in and mixed around with some soul funk jazz sounds and oh boy the songs that Ben wrote make me smile.  So pretty and he would hate to hear me call them pretty but they are.  They are melodies played by ben sweetly on his alto sax and that guitar man with his gorgeous solos so much heart there ben and the guitar man his name is Danny they play and I love to listen.  But I missed the second outing the one at Jimmy Mak's the one that Ben cared most about I missed it because I won't take the migraine pills anymore they make me stupid and they make me feel not like myself and pain is finally better than being so lost. 

I won't take the pills anymore and so I'm seeing Jennifer and she made a tincture and I take it three times a day most days and jennifer says that as long as I do it most of the time, say two thirds of the time which is two times a day then it will do me good. 

We tried the needles and even though they are very small and on the whole I can be very brave I couldn't do it again.  Next time it would have been twelve needles and that is a ridiculous number.  Jennifer said and she smiled when she said it that we will do it more slowly but that if I'm patient and I take the tincture and she rubs my neck my head my toes (my toes?) I will get better and I maybe someday won't miss ben playing his granddad the preacher man's music.

the day I got my acceptance letter that I knew would come and will change my life ben's life lucy's life and send me flying up and down the coast nine times a year that day I got a migraine and couldn't celebrate couldn't drink the champagne couldn't do anything but call jennifer and say yeah.  let's give it a go.

Jennifer.

Posted by: 120pages at 14:18 | link | comments |