here today

 

the size up.

we danced around each other verbally jousting.  what does she think of me this girl I met one thousand miles from here in a class on Freud & his Discontents.  what does she think of me this girl so different from myself who lives two blocks away.

we danced around which is what I always do not showing my hand too early you know.  often showing my hand too late as a matter of fact.  have you read this obscure author what's your IQ anyhow where've you traveled and prove you can talk about sex without blushing.  most of the rounds went to her but it was an internal accounting system.  fatally flawed because as I've heard I can hold my own on the outside.  on the outside I'm steel. On the inside I'm tabulating. 

she's been to Surinam for example.   

we danced around me and the new girl in my life.  will she be a new girl in my life?  no way to tell from last night.  no way to tell.

sometime.  sometime in the future I'd like to jump in the fire face the flames.  sometime in the future probably the far future I'd like to say out loud - you are so cool I'm intimidated by your fierceness I'm so scared I'll look seem like how I feel inside because how I feel inside is mush.  I'm so scared I'll show the mush that I'm putting some kind of mask on right now and how about we each agree to toss the masks and just. be.  because maybe I don't want to know you and maybe you don't want to know me but let's find out.

do any of you show your hand right off?  do any of you lay the cards on the table and shout out loud hey I've got a mixed bag here want to play anyhow?  I don't know who is gonna win and I don't care because isn't this a blast?  anyone?  or is it always always the slow size up.  the depressingly fake plastic game of the size up all our cards so far behind us we can't even remember what was dealt.

anyone?

Posted by: 120pages at 08:43 | link | comments (6) |