here today

 

plastic jesus. and e-vites.

I don't care if it rains or freezes,
As long as I got my plastic Jesus
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.

Comes in colors pink and pleasant,
Glows in the dark cause he's iridescent
Take him with you when you travel far.

Get yourself a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sittin' on a
Pedestal of abalone shell.

Going ninety I ain't scary
Cause I got the virgin Mary
Assurin' me that I won't go to Hell

don't you remember cool hand luke? oh, for movies like that though this year promises to be a great one for my all-time favorite television event. drumroll please the Academy Awards.

every year for the past so many years since ben and I have been together we have hosted every year and Academy Awards party. every year we record the event so as to skip commercials and get right to the part where Rob Lowe sings to Snow White, Gwyneth goes goth, and so on and so forth there is always something and I need to see it, and also to rewind it and see it again. and again.

this year I used E-Vite. do you know this E-Vil E-Vite? it is madness, I tell you, madness. an online invitation server thing that sends out messages to the people who should come to your party and then gives you a list and you can see when the people have viewed your invitation - your E-Vitation - and who is coming and who is not and who is perhaps coming but has not decided yet. also the funny comments left by your funny friends about why they are coming or are still on the fence or what have you.

here is my E-Vite:

it is that time of year again. get your pens ready, sharpen your wits and get out there & start watching movies. nominations have been posted you slacker you.

please arrive at 6pm. the red carpet portion of the evening will play from 6 - 7pm, aided by cocktails & the mocking of terrible gowns and silly hair. this is the time to fill in your ballots for the three contests. last year's heros accurately predicted the winners, the losers and "what would jesus do?". yes, there will be prizes.

please call or email me with any questions. oh, there will be food but we would be ever so happy if you would bring something to keep yourself from getting parched if you know what we're saying and I think you do otherwise you wouldn't be our friend. xoxoxoxo.

seems straighforward enough says I but since sending it I have had nothing but trouble. trouble I tell you and in my head I hear Roy Lamontaigne singing that word and it's gorgeous but anyhow not that romantic kind of trouble but real world crazy people now I see the inside of my friends' heads kind of trouble.

trouble. so much trouble. for example, some people open the invitation every day but do not respond. why? why do they do this? some are confused and call me hoping that they did not miss the party as the Grammys were on and they forgot which awards show we were celebrating. (??@!!!?). one person removed herself from the list of guests but did not say why, or how, or wherefore. it seems a statement of sorts but what kind?

next time, I will buy those tiny little rubber stamps and make my own cards and send them with wee RSVP pre-paid envelopes because that, that bit of old-fashioned crafting even were it to involve hole-punching and ribbons, perhaps even a melted wax seal on the outside, that compared to e-Vite, would simplify my life.

plastic jesus amen.

Posted by: 120pages at 15:52 | link | comments (3) |