here today

 

all the world's a stage

my uncle met me at the new Vegan place on Vancouver just a few blocks from my house. I admit I chose it in part because of the hot young chef doing dirty funky stuff with vegetables and by that I mean the food was fantastic not just soy masquerading as meat products but instead piles of flavors textures wow.. He came out to greet us and I said to him typical brenda style awkwardly clumsily that the eggplant tomato soup was one of the best things I'd ever put in my mouth.

he grinned wiped his hands on his apron eyebrows raised and I laughed like the time the masseuse called me a tight little number oh Sex just gets in there everywhere doesn't it.

but I'm here to talk about saturday which was the day after friday and on friday my uncle he asked if the reason I had written that letter at this time was because I had some fear that my mom might not be here much longer.

of course don't we all fear that disappearance of the womb where if we could only go back to that safe place we could. I like to keep the rooms at dark like a womb I don't know if it gives my clients a feeling of safety but I know that for me I can climb up on the couch and the rest of the world doesn't exist anymore.

so saturday was a miracle and part of me doesn't even want to bring it here into this blog as if by talking about it I might step back in time and reverse the picture of my mom listening really listening. asking me questions, thanking me, quiet, thoughtful and did I mention listening?. It was almost painful to be there in her limelight though it was less bright than usual she looked tired her skin was loose around her eyes her neck that papery thinness that I expected to see in ten more years. at the end of it we hugged looking straight into each other's eyes me angling downwards glancing at her heart that fragile beast.

all of them are though aren't they fragile

“…Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.” – W. Shakespeare

Posted by: 120pages at 09:21 | link | comments (1) |